


Marilyn

by Jillian



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-20
Updated: 2012-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 17:23:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jillian/pseuds/Jillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who says he doesn't? You never know! We all hide behind our profile names and pictures but do we really know WHO is behind that name?</p>
<p>(Sorry, my Muse got away with me and came up with this 'what if', lol)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marilyn

_As they lay there, breathing still uneasy, skin still covered in a thin sheen of sweat, Adam admitted his long hidden love for Tommy. That tonight was not something Adam had never thought of, nor that he hoped it would be just a one night thing._

_Tommy could not believe this was happening. After three years of hiding his secret, he was finally going to be with the man of his dreams. A man, who’d have thought that? But it was going to happen and he was the happiest he could ever be._

_The End_

Okay, so the ending is a little fluffy, but readers will probably forgive him once they read what fanfiction-Tommy does to fanfiction-Adam... Especially that tongue thing, cause _wow_. 

He’s going to skip Betawork for once, or maybe send it to his beta just in case and let her know the story is already online. It’s not the smartest move as any writer will tell him, but he’s feeling edgy and restless, maybe he’ll find rest when he presses that post-button.

Tommy logs in to his AO3 account and clicks the ‘post new’ button. Copy and paste are easily done, editing too. The cursor slides from ‘preview’ to ‘post without preview’ and back a few times until hesitation is gone and just presses post. 

The first few moments are the most exciting. How long will it take until the first hit registers? Will his readers like what he has come up with this time? Tommy knows he has quite a following, or ‘Marilyn’, his screen name, has.

It doesn’t take long before the first comments and kudos role in and on Twitter word spreads fast that a new story is posted too. Tommy feels a little rested now, even if that edgy feeling is still there. 

He knows why. He’s writing fan fiction about himself and his boss for fuck’s sake. Who does that? And why does he anyway? Because his sick and twisted mind needs an outlet since the owner of said mind isn’t doing anything constructive about it.

Tommy closes down all tabs and shuts down his laptop. He hopes he can get some sleep now that he got this written down. He’s getting better at this writing thing. It only took him three hours and two quick hand jobs this time. 

*

It’s a few days later when Tommy’s so called safe world changes 180°...

‘Dude, seriously, you take longer to get ready than any of the girls I’ve ever dated and this isn’t even a date. Just hurry up, will ya?’

‘Shut up, Tommy. You were late for a reason and we both know what that reason is. You made me wait so now I’m paying you back. Just sit down, get a drink, I’ll be done before you know it.’

‘I’m stealing your laptop and checking all your tabs, just so you know.’

And Tommy does. He pours himself a drink and opens the laptop that by the looks of it has been used not too long ago. He’s not trying to snoop, he wouldn’t like it if anyone would do it to him either.

But then he sees a tab open that looks familiar... _too_ familiar.... _way too fucking familiar_! No... no, no, no, no, no... this can’t be happening. But it is. 

A tab to Marilyn’s latest story, the one posted only a few days ago is open and from the looks of it, Adam read the whole damn thing. Or at least skimmed through it as Tommy can read the last line.

A loud gasp behind Tommy let’s him know Adam knows what Tommy is looking at.

‘Shit... you’re not supposed to see that. That was not supposed to be open anymore.’ Adam’s face resembles a fire truck, his eyes are like a deer caught in head lights. 

An awkward silence follows, neither of them knowing what to say. Tommy keeps staring at the screen, hoping that somehow magically the view might change. He’s too scared to look at Adam, forgetting for a few moments that there is no way Adam can know that Marilyn is him. 

But what if he finds out? What if Adam finds out that Tommy has been writing down all his secret fantasies about him? How is he going to explain that?

‘So... eh, please don’t let this change things between us. I-I...’ Adam falls silent, he doesn’t look at Tommy either. Not that Tommy dares to look at Adam. He hears Adam walk to the liquor cabinet and pour himself a drink. 

Another few minutes of silence follow and all of a sudden, as if a light bulb goes on inside Tommy’s head, finally that quarter drops. It’s not that Tommy has been found out... Adam has been reading these damn things.

‘Wait... y-you really read this? From start to finish?’

‘Yes, I thought you got that. Why else would it be open?’ Confusion clear in Adam’s voice. ‘I really made you uncomfortable, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, I really don’t mean to. Can we just forget you saw this and go out to that dinner I asked you to?’

Tommy can’t help himself. Words leave his mouth before his mind registers what he’s doing. ‘W-what did you think of it?’ The second he asks the words, he realises just what he asks and now it’s his turn to go fire truck red.

But Adam doesn’t register the true meaning of the question. He just stumbles to find the right words without embarrassing himself or Tommy too much.

‘I... well, the story flowed really well and either this author actually knows a bit about gay sex or she is really a dude because the sex part is always really believable and...’

‘Hang on... always? As in, you read more of m... this author?’

Adam takes a big swig of his drink and if possible he turns an even darker shade of red. ‘Yes?’ He answers softly.

Tommy is panicking but he can’t let Adam notice. What would he have read? And who else has he read stories of? Who is his favourite? He doesn’t question why Adam reads them, nor does it register that Adam just admitted that he reads fan fiction of himself with his guitarist. The only thoughts and fears that go through his head are from his freaking writer’s point of view.

‘Tommy, are you okay? I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way or at all even. Please don’t hate me. Please still be my friend.’

‘Of course I’m still your friend.’ Tommy says, still in freak mode. ‘I’m just surprised you read this stuff. I thought you hated it. I can remember heated conversations in which you clearly let everyone know how much you loathed the existence of them.’

‘Well... I may have been exaggerating just a little bit. Just to keep my secret safe. Sorry.’

‘Just for my weird, sick and twisted mind, is Marilyn the only you read or do you read from others as well?’

‘You are sick and twisted. But I’ll take the bait. I read from a few other writers too, but I like this Marilyn the best. Why do you want to know so bad? I figured you’d be asking me all different kinds of questions. Like how long I’ve felt this way or why I’ve never said anything?’

Tommy doesn’t know how to answer that. He’ll give away his own secret if he answers any of Adam’s questions. But with Adam looking at him funny, he better find some way to answer or he’ll be screwed anyway.

‘What are you not telling me, Tommy? Why are you not freaking out? You’re only asking me questions about these stories, it’s as if you’re not registering what I’m actually _telling you._ ’

‘Idonwannasay’ He says it so quickly and so quietly that Adam almost misses Tommy said something at all.

‘Wait, what did you say? It sounded like something that I cannot have heard right.’ Adam takes another big swig of his drink, emptying his glass. 

‘I... don’t want to say, alright. Can we just drop it? Go to that bloody dinner?’

‘Oh no, you’re not getting away that easily. I told you my embarrassing secret, now you tell me yours. Why aren’t you freaking out?’

‘Oh, I’m freaking out alright!’

‘Yes, but in a different way than other people would. I just fucking told you I read fan written stories that involve you and me and gallons of lubrication, yet all you’re asking about is what I think of the stories!

Fuck... you didn’t write these, did you? I mean, tell me you did not write any of this. That I’m the only fucked-up person in this room right now.’

But Tommy doesn’t answer and that kind of really answers Adam’s questions without any words. Adam doesn’t know what to say and Tommy knows he is busted. 

Adam gets up to refill his glass and takes the bottle back with him. He downs his glass before he sits down and refills again. 

‘So, eh, how did that happen? How, how, eh, yeah how?’

‘stilldonwannatalkaboutit’ Tommy huffs under his breath. He knows he’s only buying time, but hopefully something will come to him within the next three microseconds.

‘notgonnawork, so spill. I’ve been reading ‘Marilyn’s’ work for almost a year! How the hell did you manage to keep that quiet? Some were posted during promo trips. I know, cause I kinda subscribed so I get notifications.’

‘You do?’

‘Don’t focus on the minor details, Ratliff, answer the bigger issue first.’

‘Alright! Just... don’t hate me, okay? It started when I needed an outlet for my frustration cause I knew what I wanted would never happen in real life. I read a few stories, even provoked a little bit on Twitter and within a few hours they fulfilled my prompts without even asking directly for it.

But there were stories I wanted to read that I couldn’t prompt for on Twitter and I just couldn’t find them anywhere. Then one night after a bottle of JD, I just opened my laptop and started writing. I guess I just haven’t stopped since.’

‘But when did you write all this? I remember you posted ‘Midnight Blues’ during a week we had back-to-back promo.’ Tommy finally looked up at Adam, both blushing now. Adam really has read them all.

Tommy remembers that particular one all too well. It had been a late night, he couldn’t sleep and he had been playing some depressing tunes on his guitar. Then his mind started to wander to what would happen if he was fanfiction-Tommy and fanfiction-Adam was to walk in.

He had written it in a mere two hours, but at least he had been able to sleep after that.

‘Whenever I felt like it.’ Tommy answers to Adam’s question. He doesn’t feel like explaining every single detail, or at least not yet.

This is the weirdest and most uncomfortable conversation he has had in a long time, yet he knows they are still both steering very clear from the real subject.

‘Have you ever thought about doing any of the fantasy stuff in real life?’ Okay, so much for steering clear from subjects. 

‘Have you?’ It’s a cheap shot, Tommy knows, but... time-buying, he’s all for it.

Adam looks at Tommy, downs his third glass in one go and just says ‘Yes...’

Great, what is Tommy going to answer to that? ‘Yay, me too’? That’ll raise some questions, for sure.

But Adam slides over, right up close to Tommy on the couch. ‘So, how much of all of your stories are written from your own hidden dirty mind? How much do you want them to happen? Which one would you want to happen the most?’

It’s as if his fanfiction-Adam really has come to life. Everything Tommy has ever fantasised and written about, is happening in front of him. Adam is looking at him exactly like fanfiction-Adam always does. And he’s making Tommy uncomfortable just like fanfiction-Tommy always gets.

‘What are you doing, Adam?’ Tommy can’t help himself. He’s looking for a way out, even if he doesn’t know if he wants out. He does, yet he doesn’t and with Adam looking at him like that, it doesn’t make it easier with making up his mind.

‘Nothing your fantasy-version of me wouldn’t do. Your pupils are dilating, you’re fighting and enjoying it at the same time. You want to live out your fantasies yet you are too scared of them too.’

‘Stop it.’ Adam is too right and that’s even more scary. 

‘Why? You like it. You’ve written me as a dominant man in just about every story. Clearly this is how you want to see me for real too. Tell me, am I living up to your expectation so far?’

‘Damn it, Adam. Stop it.’

‘Only if you really want me to stop and I don’t think you do. This is your thing, this turns you on. I’ve got proof of that right here, story after story of proof.’

‘Those are _stories_ , Adam. Fictional stories, this isn’t real.’

‘I beg to differ. You just said you needed an outlet for frustration because you couldn’t have this in real life. Yet, here I am. Clearly your frustrations are no longer needed. I am your fantasy come to life, even if I’ve always been here and wanting the same thing you’ve been writing about.’

‘Please, don’t.’ It’s barely a whisper now. Tommy doesn’t know what to do. Yes, he’s been writing down his frustrated horny desires, but now that the main character of every fucking story is offering everything he has written about, it scares the crap out of him.

‘Remember how you struggled in ‘Lost’ and how much you enjoyed giving in in the end? That was the first time you mentioned resistance. That has returned many of times. You seem to like the idea of doing something that looks as if it’s against your will. But secretly I think you’ve been dying for it.’

Tommy can hardly breathe, he doesn’t know where to look and he keeps a strong hold on that laptop, making sure it’s safely between them.

‘What do you say, wanna pick some of your favorites and try them out for real? There’s one I’ve been wanting to do to you forever.’

‘Wh-which one?’ Even a whisper sounds louder, but Adam hears him.

‘You’ll find out, if you’ll let me. Will you let me?. I want to hear you say it, Tommy, please say yes.’

Tommy doesn’t say anything, his voice doesn’t cooperate at all anymore. How is he supposed to answer to that anyway? A simple ‘yes’ sounds easy, but after yearning for so long, it’s the hardest three-letter-word he’s had to try to say in a long, long time.

Tommy hopes that a look will say everything that his voice can’t. He looks up at Adam, plea and desperation and everything he wants to say but can’t are visible in his eyes.

‘Fuck it, a look is enough too.’ Adam crashes his lips onto Tommy’s, pushing the laptop to the side and Tommy backwards, then he lies on top of him. 

Tommy forgets if he should or should not be struggling. His arms and legs aren’t exactly helping either, they turned to jelly the second they came in contact with Adam. His lips and tongue have taken on a life of its own and obediently do as Adam’s mouth demands of it. 

And Tommy? Tommy doesn’t really know _what_ is happening yet. His brain hasn’t fully registered what’s going on, but his body is making his brain catch up quickly.

When it finally does, Tommy’s eyes fly open. His eyes need to see if what his brain is telling him is really real. When _that_ has happened, his arms start to work again, just like his legs. Both wrap themselves around Adam and that receives a rewarding moan. 

‘Jacket off.’ A muffled mumble from Adam and something that seems like an impossible task. Taking the damn thing off means letting go. And that’s something his arms agreed upon to not happen for a while yet. 

‘Tommy, too many clothes. Must lose some.’ Adam disentangles the tight knot that is Tommy’s limbs and takes off the old and worn jacket. Tommy wears a t-shirt under it which not only surprises Adam, cause let’s be honest; Tommy and T-shirts that aren’t long sleeves, no matter the weather? Exactly, that does not happen very often. But it causes a gasp too. His tattoos show and Adam cannot take his eyes off them. 

‘Shit, Tommy. You’re killing me here.’ Without asking or waiting for approval, Adam starts pulling at the hem of Tommy’s T, boldly pulling it over his head.

‘This one... the one you wrote about worshipping your tats... that’s always been my favorite. It’s as if you went into my head, stole my fantasy and wrote it out word for word. I’ve wanted to know what they feel and taste like for as long as I’ve known you.’

Adam moves his lips over Tommy’s horror sleeve. So close, but not yet touching. First the arm of Count Orlok, then Regan McNeill and lower and lower until he reaches Tommy’s fingers and sucks on them.

Finally a touch. Tommy shivers as goosebumps cover his entire body. Adam doesn’t stop there, he licks and kisses his way up the same arm. The sloppier Adam gets the more embarrassing Tommy’s moans become, not that he cares. No one has ever turned his tattoos into foreplay before or even thought of them as sexy ‘I want to play with them’. This totally turns him on so if embarrassing moans will keep Adam going, then who is he to stop?

When Adam gets to the Libra tattoos on the other arm, Adam goes wild. As if those specific ones need the royal treatment. Like in a trance, Adam doesn’t respond to anything else. He starts to hump Tommy’s leg and his breathing becomes erratic. 

‘Adam? Adam! Slow down... please.’

‘Fuck, Tommy. I’ve been dreaming about this for so long, I think I could come just from kissing you like this. And I will some day. Not tonight though. Tonight I want to come deep inside your ass. That’s one of the very few fantasies that tops the tattoo one.’

Adam attacks Tommy’s lips once more, without warning. Pulling Tommy into his lap, pressing his groin to Adam’s own. 

Tommy feels another panic attack arise when both dicks press against each other. This is weird. He’s dreamt of this a gazillion times, wrote about it as many times, but now that it’s real, it doesn’t feel as comfortable as he had dreamt or written.

That lasts until Adam readjusts himself and when Adam pulls Tommy back in, the awkward, painful feeling is gone. Tommy’s not overexcited still, why he thought it would be this amazing explosion of ecstasy, he now doesn’t get, but at least it’s not as painful as it was a minute ago.

‘There’s panic in your eyes. Please don’t have panic in your eyes now. Do you really want to stop? Or do you want me to do what you wrote I did in ‘Longing’? Cause I can do that and enjoy the fuck out of it.’

‘I don’t know. It’s just... different, from what I thought it would be, I guess. Cause just before it just hurt, like really hurt. And now... Now, it doesn’t hurt anymore, but that’s about it. I thought with a dick against my own, it would make me feel... I don’t know, so much more, I guess. But it’s not different from what I’m used to.’

‘So, playing out ‘Longing’ it is then. I seem to remember you were very, very scared and insecure but in the end you were my little dirty slut, begging for more. Wasn’t there a lot of kissing involved while I got you hot and bothered without you noticing?

Did you know I can get you there with one single movement? I’m not going to, but now at least you know.’

Adam keeps Tommy’s hips still as his teeth attack his neck and shoulder and nipples. Those nipples Tommy has devoted entire fics to. Literally! One of them called ‘Bud’ had Adam bite and suck his nipple so hard it bled by the time the fic ended. Tommy had come so hard when he read it back, he had almost called up Adam to see if he could get Adam to do that to him.

‘I thought that would get your attention. You’ve written about nipple play so many times, I couldn’t not do it. Is it working yet?’ Adam whispers that last part in Tommy’s ear. ‘The fear in your eyes is gone and I’m not even down to my piece de resistance yet. 

Are you ready for a little taste of that? Do you remember what I did to you in ‘Longing’? I rolled my hips, remember that? And you went nuts. It’s exactly like that. Exactly like you described, maybe even better.’

Adam doesn’t wait for Tommy’s response. He grabs Tommy’s hips once more, keeps him still and starts rocking ever so softly. 

Tommy has never physically rolled his eyes all the way back until you could just see the white of his eyes, but he’s doing it right now. He can’t believe how this is a thousand times better than that painful feeling earlier.

Adam keeps rocking, ever so carefully, yet ever so steadily. Tommy’s mind is spinning. He’s close already yet he isn’t. He wants to come already yet he wants to wait as long as he possibly can. 

When Tommy starts rocking in rhythm with Adam, Adam chuckles. ‘Told you so.’ He whispers in Tommy’s ear once more before he takes it up a notch. Rocking turns into thrusting and heavy erratic breathing turn into moans from both sides.

‘I need to touch you.’ Adam says after what feels like both a lifetime yet also a few seconds of thrusting and basically dry fucking each other. ‘I need to feel all of you, I want to jack you off, taste you, fuck you, everything.’

Unceremoniously Adam throws Tommy off his lap and on his back. Adam sits on the floor in between Tommy’s legs and he touches Tommy through his pants. It’s already a tight fit and with Adam’s face this close to his dick, it doesn’t get much easier.

Tommy knows what Adam is doing, it’s from one of his first fics he wrote. In reality it’s one of his earliest fantasies he ever had about Adam. 

Adam’s hot breathe on his crotch is making Tommy dizzy. The first touch through fabric is almost lethal. Tommy wants to thrust in Adam’s mouth, but somehow he manages not to... _yet_. 

But as soon as Tommy feels tongue through the fabric, he can’t hold back. He grabs Adam’s hair and thrusts up into Adam’s mouth. Tommy assumes he likes it because Adam groans approval. He lets Tommy abuse his face until the zipper painfully scratches Adam’s lip.

He stills Tommy’s hips with his hands and bites Tommy hard through his jeans. Tommy gasps, loud and Adam does it again, and again until he is a panting mess. Jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, Adam does it again with only just the flimsy material of Tommy’s briefs in between.

The feeling intensified by a thousand, the sharpness of teeth too, but Tommy will be the last person on earth to ask Adam to stop when the combination of pleasure and pain is perfect. Tommy cannot move at all, as much as he wants to fuck Adam’s face, but Adam is still holding him down.

‘Sit still, Tommy Joe, I’m going to let one hand go, but you need to sit still. Promise me.’

‘I’ll try but I can’t promise. Please don’t stop.’

‘I won’t stop if you stay still.’

Adam lets one hand go while Tommy sits on both of his. It’s the only way he’ll keep from grabbing Adam’s hair, the sure fire guarantee to start thrusting hard and fast.

Within seconds, Tommy hears rustling and a buckle make noise and Adam is moving differently. ‘What, what are you doing?’ he says.

‘Playing out what you wrote, baby.’

Tommy’s eyes fly open and tries to sit up straight. If Adam really is doing what he thinks he is doing, he needs to see it with his own eyes. When his eyes finally manage how to focus, the view in front of him is worth selling everything he owns for. 

Adam is biting and licking and sucking Tommy’s dick while he’s got a hand down his own pants.

‘Stop, Adam you have to stop. I’m about to blow my load. I don’t want to yet.’

‘So? You’ve written multiple orgasms before, you know you want to try it. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have written about it.’

‘Damn it, Adam. I’m not even naked yet.’

‘Ah, so you’re a little embarrassed? Yet I take it as a compliment. Means I’m doing a good job, am I not?’

‘Yeah, but...’

‘Then shut up and let me do this.’

‘But...’

‘Shush now.’

Adam raises an eyebrow, daring him to talk back and then grabs Tommy’s briefs to pull them over his painfully hard cock, exposing said member. 

The first bite has Tommy gasping, the first lick he’s moaning and the first time Adam sucks him into his mouth, Tommy is screaming. Three seconds later, he fills Adam’s mouth with his white hot seed.

‘Fuck you, Lambert, just fuck you.’

‘No, but I’m gonna fuck _you_. And I will make you come again, I promise you this. 

Now...’ Adam says as he kisses his way up Tommy’s body. ‘Have you thought of where you want that to happen? You’ve written us in about every possible spot. What was your favorite? Or do you want to stay here, on this couch? Whatever you want, baby, we’ll do it.’

‘Is it very cliche to ask for the bed? Being the virgin and all?’

Adam laughs so hard about that, that Tommy’s cheeks flush red. Yes, so he said it as a joke, but he’s still bloody serious. And he says so.

‘Hey, it’s not that funny. I’m bloody serious over here.’

Adam just stands up, still giggling, buckles his belt so it won’t drop and picks Tommy up in his arms. ‘Come, fair maiden, let me take thee to my bedding.’

‘You’re an ass, you know that? A big one!’

Another round of chuckles. ‘At least I have one.

Hey, have you ever thought of writing that alternate universe style? I could be the prince to come and rescue the fair prince from another country or something. Or the home coming of a soldier after the war?’

‘You giving me prompts now? While you’re carrying me up the stairs? Really? Cause that’ll just put ideas in my head and that’s a surefire way of not getting any until I’m done writing. So either keep going and get me back to your laptop or shut up until I get what you promised me.’

‘What did I promise?’

‘Second comings, dude!’

‘That’s right!’

Tommy is thrown on the bed, a still laughing Adam following suit next to him. Adam does not jump Tommy, like he expected Adam would. Instead he puts his hand under his head and just looks, wonder in his eyes.

‘What?’ Tommy chuckles.

‘How is it possible that after knowing you for all these years, you still manage to surprise me every time? Every time I think I have you all figured out, bam, you prove me wrong.’

‘I don’t know. You don’t like my unpredictability? I can try to be a boring ass, if that’s what you want?’

‘No, see, that’s what I love about you. That you _always_ manage to do just what I don’t expect you to do.’ The amazed, in awe, look on Adam’s face, brings a smile to Tommy. ‘I mean, look at this writing thing. Why I’m surprised I don’t know because I always figured you would never ever do such a thing, so of course you do do it.’

‘Well, if you love me and my unpredictable ways, then you are going to want to marry me after what I’m about to do. Do you remember ‘A teacher and his apprentice’?’

‘The... the one where I teach you everything because you want to impress some guy? Yeah, I remember.’ Adam blushes. That was the story that made him sign up so he could get notifications. It was the first story he gave kudos to, too. 

‘Then you know what I’m about to do, right?’

Adam’s eyes grow big. Yes, he knows what Tommy is about to do, his cock does too. He nods frantically.

‘Then you know I’m going to need some help and guidance too? Because Marilyn may have pretended to know all there is about all of this, in truth I have never had any...’ The quick swallow gives Tommy away. He’s not as confident as he pretends to be. 

Adam doesn’t show he knows though. Instead, Adam just nods. And swallows just as quickly as well. But after that, he takes over. He kisses Tommy softly on his lips and then props some pillows against the head board and leans back against them. 

Tommy waits for a nod telling him Adam is ready. Then he sits himself between Adam’s legs. His pants are still undone and the only thing that held it all together when he carried Tommy up the stairs were his belt. Tommy undoes that and pulls apart the flaps of his pants. 

Adam is wearing silk underwear, of course he is. The tip of his cock is sticking out at the top and it’s the first time Tommy actually sees a cock this hard, this close up. Immediately he knows exactly what fanfiction-Tommy must have felt when he wrote him. He has no fucking clue what to do now. 

Yes, theoretically he knows what to do; take out said cock, put in mouth, start sucking. But that’s just so theoretical. There has got to be more to it.

There’s just one tiny difference between himself and fanfiction-Tommy; he’s not freaking out! He’s just fucking clueless.

‘Relax,’ Adam whispers. ‘Don’t think too much. Just do what comes to you. First time I did this I panicked and bit the guy. And no matter what you do, I’m going to love it anyway.’

Tommy can’t look at Adam’s face anymore. If he does, he’ll lose his nerve. Instead, he focusses on the object of attention. He taps Adam’s ass to lift so he can take off his pants and he takes the silk underwear with them as well.

He sits back down between Adam’s legs. Still not looking up at him. Still only focussing on that hard throbbing length in front of him. He touches it carefully, as if it could break. He knows it can’t, but he’s not taking chances yet.

He traces the slit, wiping down the pre come that sat in it’s opening. He traces down the entire length until there’s no more fluid on his finger left. He does it again, dry this time. And again. This time he uses more strength and moves the skin up and down. Still very carefully, still very tentative, but he’s getting there.

Tommy’s ready to try with his tongue now. In contrast to what he has always written, he doesn’t start at the purple head. He goes to the base first. It smells funny, does he smell like that too? He hopes he does, this is intoxicating. 

Long, slow licks from base to tip. He licks like it’s a long multi-flavoured lollipop. Not just the backside either, Tommy wants to know if all sides taste the same. If the front maybe has a less intoxicating smell and taste than the back side does.

He wants to kiss it, make out with Adam’s cock and he feels weird about thinking something like that. How can you make out with something that doesn’t really have much give in a state like this?

But something in his mind takes over and he no longer worries or thinks, he just goes for what he wants. He lies himself down, off his knees and starts to kiss and tongue and fucking make out with a cock. Conclusion; it’s not as weird as he thought it would be. It’s fucking awesome, that’s what it is. He needs to remember this for a future fic, that’s for sure. Just like sucking balls, he couldn’t even begin to describe how much he loved that.

Apparently Adam thought so too and with a hard yank on his hair, Tommy was pulled up to eye level and where balls had filled his mouth only mere seconds earlier, it was now replaced by a frantic tongue.

‘Fuck, Tommy. Did you really not hear me? I almost blew my load in your face but you just kept going even after I kept calling your name, telling you to watch it. Where were you just now?’

Huh, had Adam really called him? He hadn’t heard anything, but the rushing sound in his ears might have blocked that out. Now he’s wondering what that would have been like, on his first blow. 

But the thought didn’t last long. Adam made sure of that. Or his hand on Tommy’s junk did. Tommy hadn’t even noticed he had gotten hard again. He’s still a little sensitive but that only intensifies it so he is more than okay with it.

‘I need to fuck you now. Please tell me you are ready cause I don’t think I can hold on for much longer. I’m not going to last long but I promise you I will make up for it within the next 24 hours.’

‘Where’s the lube?’ Is all Tommy says in reply as he sits up to let Adam get all the stuff they’re going to need. Adam kisses him some more first. Touches a little too.

‘Adam...’ Patience is a virtue, but not one of Tommy’s anymore.

‘Right. Wait here. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.’ As if Tommy was planning on going anywhere right now. He doesn’t tell Adam but he thinks it’s kinda cute how Adam is nervously fumbling through drawers and bedside cabinets. Apparently a red bottle of lube is not the one Adam is looking for, it quickly ends up somewhere on the floor. Blue seems to be Adam’s colour of choice for this occasion. 

He returns with said blue bottle and a string of condoms, a cheeky boyish look in his eyes, a bit shy too even. ‘I feel as if it’s my birthday and you are the present I’ve been bugging the world for,’ he says a little giddy.

‘I’m going to make it more than good, Tommy, I’ll make you never forget or regret this. Even better than anything you’ve ever written and that says something, knowing I’ve been jerking off to your words for the last year.’

Tommy doesn’t know what to say to that. So instead he says nothing. He lies down because Adam instructs him to and waits for his next move. 

To his surprise, Adam doesn’t come and sit between his legs so he can prepare Tommy. Instead he lays himself down, covering Tommy’s entire body. He looks at Tommy again, as if he can’t believe the man really is under him and agreeing to what Adam wants. 

Adam comes down and kisses Tommy’s lips once more. Soft and slow but with a promise of more. He pulls Tommy’s arms around him and Tommy can feel that he needs to hold on, so he does. 

A moment later, strong arms surround Tommy’s tiny frame. Then a movement and Tommy lies on top of Adam who lifts one of Tommy’s legs up. Just one. All the while he’s never letting go of those pouty lips and that delicious tongue. 

A single, lubed up, finger traces the crack of Tommy’s ass. It circles around the tiny hole and then it settles there. No pressure, just a promise of what’s to come.

But Tommy is tired of promises, he wants to see them fulfilled already. He lets Adam know with a complaining moan and it works. Pressure against the sphincter makes him a little tense, but nothing he can’t handle. Further and further his finger goes and Tommy clenches. On one hand it happens out of instinct, banning the intrusion. But on the other hand, he wants to feel it all. Make sure he’s not missing a single thing.

‘Relax,’ Adam whispers once more.

‘Don’t want to,’ Tommy replies. ‘This feels good, even better like this.’

‘You’re going to regret that...’ Adam comes back.

‘We’ll see,’ is Tommy’s final reply before he returns pushes Adam’s lips back into his neck.

Adam gets the hint and continues where he left off; teeth biting and finger pushing in. As soon as his middle finger bottoms out, he carefully wiggle it and Tommy can no longer breathe. Tommy has had his own fingers up his ass before, but they didn’t manage whatever Adam’s doing now.

He’s gasping for air, begging Adam never to stop. But Adam does, but only to return with a second finger. It hurts a little but when he does that wiggly thing again, it feels twice as good as before.

‘more,’ Tommy croaks. ‘Give me more, give me everything you’ve got.’

But all Adam does is retract the two fingers and returns with three. Tommy is going insane. This is nothing like he has ever written. If he allows himself time to think about it, he would come to the conclusion that every word he wrote does not do justice to this feeling. But he doesn’t allow himself to think right now. Thinking takes his mind of doing and he likes doing a whole lot more than thinking at this point.

Adam fucks him ever so slowly with his fingers. Wiggling is difficult, but he can feel Adam try. He can also feel Adam tremble with need. He’s holding back, all because he wants to make it good for Tommy.

‘Do it, I’m ready.’ Tommy makes Adam look at him. ‘You’re going to blow your load soon and you promised me a good fuck, so what are you waiting for? I’m all stretched up, I can take it.’

Adam tries to answer, but he can’t. He’s too far gone, he just nods instead. He opens one of the tinfoils and pulls out the rubbery safety. He turns them both over again and Tommy sees Adam is trying to tell him without words that that will be easier on him.

Later, when he looks back on their first time, all Tommy can think of is how romantic it had been. Adam holds him in his arms as he slowly enters his body, Tommy’s legs all the way around his body. Soft soothing words that need to take away the pain but don’t cause the pain is worse than he figures it would be. 

When Adam is inside all the way, Tommy lets out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding. More kisses follow until Adam slowly starts to move. That’s when Tommy loses interest in kisses, fucking is way more interesting. Even if it’s not real fucking yet, it’s just moving slowly in and out. But it’s already good enough for him.

‘Fuck me,’ Tommy almost begs. If slow movement feels good already, then what will hard thrusts feel like?

A questionable look from Adam quickly relaxes when he sees Tommy’s face. Tommy is serious so there’s no need to worry. 

Harder thrusts follow and Tommy puts his feet down to keep steady and catch the thrusts. Each push takes his breath away again and it’s addictive. He wants more and he wants it harder still. He wants to be fucked into oblivion and he tells Adam so. 

He gets told that he’ll regret that, that he should be careful if his body is not used to it, that he’ll feel it for days. But who cares? Isn’t this what painkillers are invented for? He’ll get stocks or bonds or whatever Wall Street sells to keep the company running, sponsored by yours truly.

‘Then hold on.’ Adam grabs Tommy’s hips and thrusts inside so hard and fast it makes Tommy scream with both pleasure and real pain. It hurts so much more than expected, but he is never going to tell Adam this. He asked for it so it’s his own fault.

But all too soon he sees Adam’s face tense and hears a primal scream. He wants to yell ‘no, no, no, no, no, not yet,’ but his voice doesn’t want to cooperate. He was so close for fuck’s sake. Why hadn’t Adam warned him? He would have liked the idea that they’d come together at the same time.

‘Shit, shit, shit!’ He hears Adam say. But Adam doesn’t stop moving. In fact, his thrusts get deeper albeit a lot more irregular. They’re sharp, short shots now and even though it stings a little, Tommy doesn’t want Adam to stop, ever.

Adam grabs Tommy’s cock and starts to jerk in time with his thrusts. He’s having the hardest time keeping up, with his own orgasm still going through his body, but he doesn’t falter. That’s Tommy’s undoing. The look in Adam’s eyes as he tries to keep going with determination yet his own ecstasy still going.

It’s Tommy’s time to scream that animal scream and he covers both their bellies with his come. He hears Adam say ‘thank god’, but he doesn’t pay it much attention. He has just had his first orgasm caused by an actual real guy and he kind of wants to bask in that glee for a bit.

He holds Adam down to him when he feels he is trying to get up. He likes it like this, the heavy weight of his tall body on top of him. He also doesn’t want it to be over yet and once Adam gets up, it’s over.

‘Don’t move yet,’ he tells Adam.

‘But baby, I need to clean us up or we’ll get sticky, you don’t want that, do you?’

‘I don’t care. Just for a little while longer. We can clean up later, that’s what showers and washing machines are for, aren’t they?’

But after five minutes, Adam cannot take it any longer. His limp cock has left Tommy’s ass a minute or two ago and he can feel the come dripping out of the condom that’s still stuck inside Tommy’s ass, alongside his cock, and that grosses him out. 

‘Sorry, I need to do this. Just relax, I’ll be right back.’ Adam carefully pulls out the condom before he leaves Tommy and the warmth of the bed. ‘Why can’t I follow you? I know I’ve written of you taking care of me just about every time, but that’s just fic-talk, you’re supposed to put that in there. I don’t really believe in that shit.’

‘The fuck you should,’ Adam comes back. ‘That’s not some made up shit, Tommy. That’s how this works. If the other guy doesn’t, he’s not worth being with. Now lay back down and wait for my return.’

Tommy blushes at that. Yes he had always written an ending that had the top taking care of the bottom (and he is so going to be a top one time. He knows Adam knows it’s on his mind, ‘Turning Tables’ is written proof of that.) and even though he really doesn’t believe in that that’s the way it should go, that he can take perfect care of himself after having been fucked through the mattress, he always secretly hoped he’d get to live it once. 

And he gets taken care of in the best way. A warm wet cloth cleans him up and soft blankets cover him when Adam is done. He doesn’t feel like sleeping, another surprise after the gazillion ‘and they sleep happily ever after’s’ he’s written. But he likes the idea of cuddling and holding each other close.

But after an hour of cuddles and talks, he gets that familiar unsettling feeling again. This time it’s different though. It’s not as restless as before but he knows he needs to act on it now. Fuck his life.

He gets out of bed, asking Adam to stay where he is for he would be right back. He returns with Adam’s laptop and snuggles back into the pillows.

‘You’re not really going to do what I think you are, are you?’ Adam asks.

‘The fuck I am! Do you think I’m going to let an opportunity like this go? Hell no, and I can finally write from experience now. These fuckers are going to be so much better from now on.’

Adam laughs loud at that. ‘Just promise me you’ll not paint me off as a premature coming ass who couldn’t wait for his ‘glitterbaby’ to join him... oh and don’t you dare ever to use glitterbaby, because I will cockblock you so fast and so long that we’ll be talking in tours instead of weeks before I will let you come again. That is a promise!’

‘Don’t worry!’ Tommy chuckles as he types the first sentence onto digital paper;

_As they lay there, breathing still uneasy, skin still covered in a thin sheen of sweat, Adam admitted his long hidden love for Tommy. That tonight was not something Adam had never thought of, nor that he hoped it would be just a one night thing._


End file.
